Don’t you just hate it when you wear your cape and people give you weird looks? Yeah, me too.
Just kidding. Even though I like to think of myself as Superwoman, my cape is an imaginary one.
We all wanna be butt-kicking, heroic and strong, the best possible versions of ourselves. We all wanna be our own Superwoman.
Now is a great time to start.
1 FIRST OF ALL, LOVE YOURSELF
The starting point for any woman should always be self-love. There’s nothing arrogant or selfish about it.
I’ve written about this topic before, and I probably will continue to write about it for a long time to come, for the simple reason that it’s so important.
When we learn to be kind to ourselves and put ourselves first, that’s when we gain the ability to change and get control over our lives. We have to be our own best friends because ultimately, that’s the only thing we ever truly have. Everything else in our lives is just temporary.
So begin with this:
YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.
Just the way you are. When you look in the mirror, remember that.
Everyone, including you, has something unique that no one else has. It’s easy to forget, but you can’t become someone else, no matter how much you try. It’s sad that so many of us waste our time and energy on that.
You are unique in many ways, not just in the way you look. Who you are is so much more than what you see in the mirror. Life is not about your weight, or the clarity of your skin. Your life and story is about the inner glow that you project, the way you smile and the things you do.
Don’t let your mood be ruined by how you think you look.
If this was your last day, would you care about superficial things? No, you wouldn’t. You would throw a huge party for family and friends, you would eat lots of cake and drink sparkling wine and dance the night away. Everything else would just fade away.
Looks wouldn’t matter if you knew this was your last day alive. So they shouldn’t matter now. Wear your best dress, your biggest smile and feel good about yourself today.
2 HONEY, TALK IS CHEAP
When I transitioned from being a teen to a young adult I realized many things.
One of the biggest epiphanies I had was that there’s an important difference between what people will tell you and what they actually do. The first one is just an illusion, the second one is the truth.
This is of course because it’s easy to talk about doing something, instead of just doing it.
People love excuses. They love telling others why they failed to reach their goals – it’s always these external reasons, never a lack of motivation or willingness. Excuses are a way of making ourselves feel better about what we didn’t do.
Let them try to rationalize themselves to you, just smile and nod. You can’t help them. However, you can control your own actions, you can understand that if you want to achieve something, the only thing you need to do is make a choice.
When you’ve decided to do something, you’ll find a way.
3 SHINY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
What would Beyoncé do?
Always think about the people you admire. Try to define what it is exactly that makes them so great, and then model your life after them.
- read and listen to what they’ve said and done
- write their inspiring quotes in a journal
- if you can, meet them in person (a girl can dream!)
- remember that they struggle, too
Don’t ever let someone feel embarrassed for admiring someone, or for loving cliché inspirational quotes. This is your life, and whatever motivates you to do better is good.
Everyone has people they look up to. Any successful person could tell you in an instant who it was that inspired them to go for it, who showed them how amazing they could be.
In your mind, your idol is just for you. You alone know how inspiring it is to think of that person, and how it helps you push yourself a little bit more.
If someone tells you that they don’t like your idol, just shrug and change the subject.
4 TAKE ACTION – GO, GO, GO!
You can either sit around and wait forever for things to start happening. Or you can be the driving force that makes things happen.
Go from passive to active – become a doer. Get to work, know what you want to accomplish and be ready for a lot of bends in the road.
I read somewhere that often parents with small children are the best at getting things done. They procrastinate the least because they often are very short on time. They’re always about to be interrupted by a child.
We should always work like someone is about to interrupt us, or alternatively, like the internet is going to stop working anytime.
Some rules to live by:
- tackle one day at a time
- do that thing you’re afraid of
- just speak up, already
- push yourself a little bit more every single day
- also: take a break every now and then
5 KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN
If you’ve been hurt, be grateful.
Grateful that you are a living creature, feeling feelings and having experiences. Grateful that despite everything, you’re still here. Grateful that every day is a new chance to turn your life around.
Turn your experiences into drawings, poems or diary entries. Then, keep going.
Don’t let a negative person or experience stop you. They might change you, but don’t ever ever ever let them stop you.
The next person you meet isn’t the same one that hurt you. The next opportunity could be the best thing ever. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Give yourself the freedom of being open.
6 NEVER GO BACK
You are now the new you, so stop hanging on to the past.
Let go of the old, whether it means throwing out material things, quitting habits or forgetting the details of a lost love. Let go and there will be space for something to grow.
You can change, but remember that it’s a constant process.
It’s a natural thing to gravitate towards familiarity and comfort. Once you recognize that you see the daily choices you have between the old and the new. Don’t hold on to a garden of withered roses. Don’t hold on when there is nothing there.
Repeat after me: I am not my memories, my past experiences, my mistakes, my feelings. I exist in the present moment only.
7 FIND OTHER SUPERWOMEN
When all else fails, if you can find a tribe of amazing women that are killing it, keep them forever.
We grow with the people that we have around us. Sometimes, understanding this means that we have fewer friends than we would want, and we spend more time alone then we might. That’s okay.
It’s better to be alone than to be with the wrong people. You’ll find them, eventually.
When you do, it’s so worth it, because you realize that you were right to not settle, you were right to keep looking for other amazing people.
Speaking of Superwomen, let’s end with a Taylor Swift quote.
“I surround myself with smart, beautiful, passionate, driven, ambitious women. Other women who are killing it should motivate you, thrill you, challenge you and inspire you rather than threaten you and make you feel like you’re immediately being compared to them.”